12 May 2007

We Have "Issues" In Our Marriage,

lots of issues so it's a long post:WARNING: This post contains an annoying amount of parenthesis.

I think we all know that remodeling or building a house can cause a little marital stress. Maybe magnify the "issues" you have with one another or bring to the limelight "issues" you weren't even aware you had.

One of these issues in our relationship is the fact that Tim will agree with you as to what should be done or bought and then once you go to do or buy that something will "surprise" you with what he all along wanted to do, usually the complete opposite of the "plan." I, of course, see this trickery as lying and this usually leads to some pretty heated "debates" in public places. One of the reasons that I am sure all of our friends have us pegged as Most Likely To Get Divorced.

We needed some sort of wall built around the future rose garden to prevent run off of the dirt. We agreed that with our current financial situation the only thing we could afford was concrete pavers. That was the end of all agreement. After lengthy "conversations" in the privacy of our own home I thought I had gotten Tim on board with using the same brick pavers we were using for the sidewalk. I should have known better when he refused to use the pavers we had on hand and opted to go buy new. So we get to the place that sells them and he springs on me that it is a "physical impossibility" to build a wall using bricks -insert your eye rolls here, and that we will have to get this type of paver. Well after "discussions" I cave like usual. The only thing is I was set on using the same color as the bricks because he had already bought 3 different colors/types of landscaping materials and I'm thinking the front of the house is starting to resemble a patch work quilt (which by the way he said he understood/agreed with in previous "conversations"). So after much more walking around the yard "conversing" I again caved and we now have another color of landscaping -sigh-.

I now realize that the photo I have above only shows the new blocks and not the other colors we have and now it's too dark to take another picture. Sorry.

So this "issue" brings up another "issue" with in our marriage. The fact that Tim says I'm an insensitive harpy who is never happy no matter how hard someone works for me. OK- so he doesn't say that exactly. But that's pretty much what he's thinking maybe with fewer mythological references and more dirty words. And that is so not fair. I can't help my above average taste and the fact that I know exactly what I want and am not afraid to say I'm unhappy when I'm forcibly tricked in a public place during a huge sale with hundreds of people standing there while we "discuss" things.

So yes, he did a very nice job at laying the stones. And yes I'm sure they were very heavy and he physically asserted himself to a maximum to place those stones to protect those little rose plants I insisted on having (but must point out had no say in choosing he "surprised" me with the purchase after I insisted I didn't want any plants bought until I was good and ready to take care of them- read not when I'm in the third trimester of a second pregnancy in two years). But wouldn't nice small, black bricks look better?

So here's were I need your support. Send me lots of comments about how much better those pavers would look if they were black. I know. It's mean and harpyesque (hey- I'm not perfect and when you show your overwhelming support for me he can at least be right about the harpy part as consolation), especially since I don't think he knows how to post a comment in his own defence. But it's mother's day weekend, not father's day and that should have trumped any "discussions" right then and there, right?

-sigh- I feel better now.


Mandi said...

Oh definitely!! Much better if they were black!! For sure.

KatKit13 said...

What are you going to with the driveway? The black would look good - IF the driveway is going to stay light. But right now, it does echo the siding color, and it doesn't bug me (and trust me, color being off will drive me crazy if it's bad).

And uhm, I'm going to be the cranky one pointing out that compromise is the essence of marriage. Plus, no one is going to see it with plant life draping over it. ;-)

sugarcreekfarm said...

This would be why almost everything around here is now hired out. After years of remodeling, and then the basement fiasco (which he blames on me), Matt quit on me as my handyman. I think he'd tell you that you have to share that "insensitive harpy who is never happy" title (so funny!) with me.

I say, I just want it how I want it.

So then we got the guy that did our siding and porch, and I loved him so much that Matt said he ought to have "Lowe Construction...we'll make your wife happy" put on t-shirts. And then that guy quit, too, and became a car salesman.


Which is all to say...of course the pavers should be black :)

Billie said...

Yup, black is so much cleaner and nicer and will wear better. Is he trying to set the record for how many colors you can have on the outside of your house? (Okay I've never seen the pics, but still, I WITH YOU!)
But ya know hon, I have "discussions" in public places about "issues" I don't care who hears. If anyone gets unhappy about it, I say, well honey, it's all I really want for my birthday or Christmas or Mother's Day or our Anniversary, is it that much to ask? Guilt in front of other men gets them EVERY time sweetie!